That One Time He Asked if He Could Kiss Me...

I met James Schanzer (now my husband), on a European cruise ship. It really was a dreamy way to meet. It still feels surreal when I tell people our story because it’s like how the heck did this happen? Ha!

So, let’s go back to 2010…

On the first day of the cruise, I saw James and allowed myself to acknowledge he was attractive. I was eating in the dining hall with my mom and grandma and he walked right by. He had an orange Texas Longhorn shirt on, which is a lot of my family member’s favorite team, so that stood out to me, a backwards hat on and some earrings. To this day I’m not sure how I feel about the man with earrings. That was that. I saw James Schanzer and went on my merry way.

Days went by and I hadn’t seen him again. Not that I was scouring the boat looking for him, but I thought it’d be nice if we bumped into each other. I was on my way to the pool, with the last book of the Twilight series in my hand. I was a 22-year-old, grown woman (I thought), reading Twilight and highly enjoying it and I didn’t care. Until I saw James in the elevator on the way to the pool.

The elevator stopped and there were a bunch of young 20-somethings in there, all friends, all chatting and laughing together and I step into the mix, all alone. With my Twilight book in hand. I looked up and noticed James. I started questioning why I would ever read Twilight and trounce it around unashamed?!? A grown woman reading a teenage love story about vampires? How embarrassing! I hugged the book tight to my chest and tried to keep a cool, independent facial expression, while my insides were scathed. On the next floor, I got off and took the stairs the next few flights up to the pool.

Two times I had seen James and two times, it just wasn’t the moment to meet him.

A couple days later, it was the World Cup Final. After my mom, grandma, and I watched the game, they were tired and decided to go to bed. But for me, being a young 20-something, full of life and hope, I went to get a dirty martini, all by myself. I’m still proud of the mental space I was occupying at this point in my life; complete freedom and a confidence of self- sufficiency.

As I was sitting there, sipping that vodka and olive juice, wouldn’t ya know it, I saw that cute guy from the first day. There was a man in a very colorful suit between us. This man was talking my ear off and I really couldn’t pay attention, because I wanted to talk to the guy on the other side of him (James). I’m sure the guy talking to me was perfectly nice and I’m sure he had a reason for wearing such a vibrant suit on a random night on a cruise ship, but I just was not interested. He did play a role in me and James finally meeting though.

James started talking to him, which made him more accessible to me. I interrupted their conversation and James ended up coming over and we started talking. We didn’t stop talking until the sun came up that morning.

Cruise ships force you into presence. Cell phones and ipads were around, but they weren’t a phenomenon then, it was 2010. There was no way I had even thought to get “international data,” for my trip, so I had no phone to check, nowhere to be, and not even an inkling of the time and we were quite literally lost in conversation, in the middle of the ocean.

I was disappointed as night faded into the day because I knew our night was drawing to an end. We picked a meeting spot for the next afternoon and parted ways. I remember walking to my room and thinking “Oh shoot, I hope my mom isn’t worried!” and also, “What the heck just happened, that was really cool!”

We met for ice cream later that day and James made me laugh harder than I had laughed in a long time. Ya know those laughs that contort your face and steal your breath? Those laughs that bring such joy, but most definitely don’t have you looking presentable? Yeah, he had me laughing like that, while I was trying to eat ice cream. Ice cream was very close to spewing out of my nose at any moment, but it was in this nose-burning, eyes filled with tears laughter moment that my heart was lit on fire.

If you’re wondering...at this point, James and I still hadn’t kissed. We were only 2 days into knowing each other, but the connection I felt was so strong. It honestly started to feel like a long time and why hadn’t he kissed me?

The next time we saw each other, we refer to as our “first date.” He had won a dance competition on the boat (hilarious- I know) and the prize was dinner in one of the fanciest restaurants. I got all dolled up and met him for dinner. I still remember what I was wearing and what he was wearing.

I had gotten there a few minutes before him, which is strange because I am definitely the one who is always running late in real life. I was waiting outside the entrance to the restaurant, it was at the end of a long, beautiful hallway, with ocean-view windows lining one side, and giant oriental flowers lining the other. There were thousands of twinkle lights sparkling from the ceiling and beautifully intricate carpet beneath my feet. I spun around and saw James, standing in a suit and tie, at the end of the hall and when I close my eyes, I can still feel the giddiness in my chest from that moment when I saw him.

We were early for our reservation, so we decided to get a drink at the bar. He asked me about the tiny scar on my lip from a long-ago lip ring and I asked him about his family. Then we were shown to our table.

Our table was in front of a large round window; a picture of the world as the ship glided through the mystery of the ocean and the sky faded from blue to oranges and pinks and into the deep greys of the night. Such wilderness on both sides of that window; the Earth in all it’s ruggedness and a relationship in all it’s newness, both relishing in the power of a moment.

Conversations have always been so easy with James. It’s like since the moment we saw each other our souls took a deep breath, almost as if we were reunited and this dinner was no exception. We talked about our families, heartbreak, some really awful mistakes we had made, the people we wanted to be, the lives we envisioned for ourselves. Our guards were totally down. Nothing was off the table.

After dinner, we strolled around the boat in the beautiful night breeze. And again….there had been no kiss yet. James hates when I tell this part of the story, but I’m doing it anyway! Ha.

We had had a mind-numbingly wonderful night! From the food to the view, to the conversation, to the laughing. There are no words to accurately describe how beautiful that night was with James. After dinner, we walked around for quite a while just talking, eating dessert, and all the things. In my mind, there had been ample time to kiss me! As our night was winding down, we were sitting on a bench, and I swear just as soon as the thought, “Ok, is this connection going to be like a best friend connection?” entered my mind, James leaned in and asked “Would it be OK if I kissed you right now?”

And I looked at him and said, “Seriously? Don’t ask!” And he grabbed my face and kissed me. We both started laughing. I swear, if it was anyone but James Schanzer asking to kiss me, I would have thought it was so sweet and respectful and blah blah blah, but at that point, our connection was undeniable, I honestly felt like I waited forever for that kiss. And when he asked, I was just kind of like ‘are ya not feeling what I’m feeling or what??? Kiss me already, you fool!’ Ha!

So that was that. James Schanzer asked to kiss me, I was appalled by the question and the rest is history. 

I must say, that kiss may be the best kiss of my life. He’s given me lots of amazing, memorable, spur of the moment, wow-that-was-good kisses since then, but there’s just something special about that first one. It was like all was set right in the world again for that moment. But that’s another story for another time.