Baggage

For years I've been lugging you around,
Brown and weathered around your corners,
No rollers for convenience, no fancy decorations that make you easy on the eyes
Yet, everywhere I go, I carry you with me.

You're heavy
And I'm tired.
I'm tired of replaying the distasteful scenes.
I'm tired of reliving the moments of complete embarrassment. 
Mostly, I'm tired of the questioning.
Questioning myself, my worth, and my sanity.

I'm unpacking you.
Tonight.
I'm unpacking the hurtful words,
Unpacking the drinks,
Unpacking the bored, blank stares,
Unpacking the neglect,
Unpacking the worthlessness,
I'm unpacking it all.
Feeling it all.

All I'm left standing with is an empty suitcase and lessons learned.

I'll be more careful the next time I pack you up.

I'll take my time,
I'll pack the most vibrant colors, the sturdiest denim, and the warmest wools,
I'll pack the softest satins and the kindest patterns.

I'll pack things that compliment me,
I'll pack things that want to be wrapped around me,
I'll pack it all with my lessons learned and head to the train station.

Where I'll stand, with a distinguished smile and deeper roots of understanding.
I'll take a deep breath and step across that platform.

Though, the shell of the suitcase is with me, onboard the train,
The baggage of you and me, that filled it, has been abandoned and turned powerless, as my feet hit the train floor.   

Everything's lighter now, nothing too tight.
Just as my baggage, my body and my soul;
We have a new beginning. 

I'll find my seat and confidently gaze out the window,
Headed in my new direction, with my new suit case, full of possibility, and lessons learned.